Saturday, July 09, 2005

Scars

I wish i could be more like this song. The Lyrics remind me of what i can feeel one day.

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and my scars remind me
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

drunk and im feeling down
and i just wanna be alone
im pissed 'cause you came around
why dont you just go home

'cause you channeled all your pain
and i cant help you fix yourself
you're making me insane
all i can say is

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized

that youre drowning in the water
so i offered you my hand
compassion's in my nature
tonight is our last stand

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

im drunk and im feeling down
and i just wanna be alone
you shouldnt ever come around
why dont you just go home

cause youre drowning in the water
and i tried to grab your hand
i left my heart open
but you didnt understand

you fix yourself!

i cant help you fix yourself
but at least i can say i tried
im sorry but i gotta move on with my own life

i cant help you fix yourself
but at least i can say i tried
im sorry but i gotta move on with my own life

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

I feel like I will always be ready to help her if she gets into trouble. I know I would leave anyone I am with for just another chance with her. Becuase I will never give into the fact that she is never going to tell me I love you Again. I just will not believe that.

I feel like she is going to make the bad decisions that she always makes when she jumps head first into to something and I know she is going to get hurt. And in the end i think that is why I cant move on. Because I made a promise to her and to God, no matter what, I would protect her.

So i cant let go, as muxh as everyone tells me I must, as much as she has told me I must, as much as I know i need to. I can't because its my code of Honor. Even if she never will tell me she loves me again. My heart will never give up. I will wait quietly and possible lonely for her to realize that she still loves me. Because I have seen it in her eys, and at some point she will get tired of running.

Yet I wil go do something with Mandi, but I think the only reason I date her is because she is not in a hurry for anything. Part of me womders if I just took the next step with her, if it would get me over the ex. And I think thats the reason I do not force myself to. Becuase if I move on, she will never be ablw to come back to me, and forever is a long time to miss someone you love

So i again rip at those scars, because I would rather love her forever, than to move on and not ever feel.

posted by Hendersonman @ 2:43 PM Comments: 0