Monday, January 29, 2007

The Cup

You know that saying, My cup runneth over. That popped into my head when I started chatting with her the other night. Because when i realized it was really her. I could see this chalice in my minds eye. I could see this liquid being poured in it. And as the liquid spilled over and poured across this table, tears began to leak out of my eyes. Because at that moment, I was filled with so much happiness that it could not be contained inside me.

This all started with me last week. I thought I wrote about this last week, but looking back on it, I see I did not. I know I told you about the Xbox discussion. Well the next week, I was getting ready for work. I knew I would see her on Tuesday.

A voice calmly spoke to me. Robert, wear your good button up Blue shirt that you got for Christmas, last year. I was like okay voice in my head, no problem. And then also wear your blue jeans. Yeah okay, whatever, thats a little weird.

There you look all good now. I walk into the bank. I had pep in my step. Lately I have just been in a better mood.Of course she was waiting for me at the counter, okay not for me, but you know for work.

She looked at me and said, "You look nice today, I like that shirt." Then I heard that little voice in my head actually laugh. Told you so. We talked a little bit, abut Books, and how she spent 4 months working at Disney world. It was nice, and no big line so i lingered to talk to her.

Good day. Then Saturday, it was warmer here. 47 degrees. The voice again made a suggestion. Do not wear your coat into the bank. Wear that shirt that your friends like, and just go in there like that.

Again she was waiting the counter. (Now for those of you playing at home. In the last 3 months, she had not been doing anything on the counter. She had been stuck in a drive thru)

"So you are not even wearing your jacket today are you? I did not eithier, it feels almost like Spring out there."

Another giggle from that voice in my head. Now to add a little more giggle to the story. The night before I went to get Chinese food. I had such a craving for it. When I looked at the fortune that night. And I will let you read this one to yourself.

I will no longer doubt the power of fortune cookies. The next day, she looks me up. Sends me a message.

She is a very shy person. I think she was too nervous to call me. We spoke about a lot of things. I flirted with her. I told some of my jokes, and I think I only mentioned my ex wife once, because it pertained to Tiki. Anytime I thought about writing something out of context, I would hear, erase that.

She is just an honest Sweetheart. When I got up the next morning I sent her a message telling her that I had a good time talking to her, and that I hoped she had a good day.

She sent me one back later, while I was at work. That she liked talking to me too, and she hoped I had fun visiting with my mom, and she would see me on Tuesday at the bank.

I did not ask for her phone number yet, I did not ask her out yet. I asked her some of the things she liked to do. (She gets points for answering bowling and mini golf) and I asked her about a few places, (like old chicagos pizza, and coldstone creamery) (She loves pizza and Ice cream) Both of which she answered, No but I would like to go sometime. I kind of wondering if she was hinting at me to ask her out. I am afraid to be too forward and scare her off. I have to take this nie and slow.

I mean would Ricky Bobby drive 199 laps, and then screw it up because he wanted to slow it down. Hell no, because if you are not first your last. He would win that Nextel Cup.

I joked arond with her the other night. I changed my Instant messenger pic, to a little dog with Huge glasses on, and she thought that was cute. I said I wanted to change it from my ugly mug :)

She told me I did not have an ugly mug. How sweet of her.

We started putting pics up of ourselves. Every pic she put up was gorgeous, I even told her I thought she had the prettiest smile, and that she was gorgeous. I was not blowing smoke. Her pics were really good. Maybe I am just biased. I have none to share of her yet.

But she gave me her email address. So I can email her when she is not online. I thought about seeing how things go, and if she seems still interested to see if she wants to go see Catch and Release. Not sure yet, do not want to tip my hand too early. You spill your cup that way.

I will let you know how it goes later. Wish me luck. Pray for me because i really think God has a hand in this one. And I have Faith it is going to turn out the way I want it to.


Sunday, January 28, 2007

Bank Girl

Well I have just spent over 4 hours chatting with Bank Girl. Online, she looked me up, so she could chat with me. And I think she kind of likes me :)

More as this story develops


Monday, January 22, 2007

Tuxes, Wedding bells, and Gay Retarded Migets

Well last monday, my best friends fiance asked if I was really going to
be his best man. Did she really even have to ask. I mean the funny
thing is, he automatically assumed I would, never really asked me but
come on, i pretty much knew I was going to be his best man so its not
like he even had to ask me.

So in other words, soon, very soon
I have to go get outfitted for a Tux. Great. I do not like the way I
look in a tux, Maybe I will put up a pic of me from my wedding. But I
am at my mom's right now so i really can't. Trust me, i weighed 30 pounds more then, than I do now.

I have to thank my best friend though. He did keep his fiance from trying
to set me up again. His fiance has only known me a short time, but she
has no clue what the hell i am looking for. This girl from what i hear,
almost sounds like alcholic and she is not attractive, and she does not sound like she is very intelligent. ( come on i am not just going to hope into bed with some girl cause she goes out with me. I am looking for a wife. And if you are not intelligent, then i am not interested) Hopefully he will continue to weed out the bad women she tries to set me up with.

Now to the gay retarded midget. Now this is not my story, and I will not trelease the name of this person either. but the fact is, one of my many gay friends is at a gay bar Friday night.

They get invited upstairs by another few guys, i am not sure what he means by upstairs but thats how it was reported to me. The guy that invited them up stairs was deaf. And My friend, ( we will call him Ben cause it sounds like a good gay name hehehe) Ben's other gay friend, J, wanted him to come up with because he did not know sign language.
Ben:I dont know sign language eithier.
j: yeah but your better and not as drunk as i am

Fine he goes upstairs. Immediately Ben has this guy come over and start flirting with him. Now when he describes this guy we all started laughing. He was 5 feet tall. (okay not quite a midget) He had really high cheekbones, big ears, and a tal forehead. Ben described him as ( a Kender, a halfling from dragonlance novels. As displayed here

So Ben says this guy starts talking to him. And the gay midget kender says, " Yeah my brain only functions as well as a 12 year olds." After this, Ben knew he had to go and get as far away from this guy as possible. The guy continued to follow him around the bar. finally he told J, that he had to go now or he was going to have to kill someone.

As funny as that story is, the fact that ben brought up that this was not the first time he had ever been hit on someone who had the mental faculties of a 12 year old. He told us he was at another gay bar here in town that he was with J again. And this guy was flirting with him, and was also mentally challeneged.

Who then stood up on the karoke stage and said, " this song is for Ben" and then began to sing sweet things are made of these, by the Eurythmics. After this story i thought they were going to have to drag me out of Shoney's on a stretcher.

So the gay retarded midget is now A RUNNING JOKE around here. We bring it up anytime we can. maybe someday we will forget it. But i would not count on it. By the way, this "ben" is not the same ben that is my best friend hehe. and if your name is Ben than i appologize to you for saying your name is gay.

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Friday, January 12, 2007

Can i change my Vote

For game of the year that is. I had inadvertantly took in all the hype surrounding Gears of War on 360. Yes the graphics are beautiful. But the downside to the online game is, its simply bores me to tears. Even My friend Masta Chi3f cant keep me from zonning out and wishing we could play Rainbow 6 Vegas.

Its been on e of those gaming weeks. Which I am sure my blog will tell you. I have earned quite a few new acheivement points. One of which tonight, i got up and danced and did my best impression of Will Smith from Independence Day.

"Thats right, I am going to lay all your friends right down beside you just like that."

It was a Giant Worm, and it was fun taking down. And it was a 50 point acheivement for Lost planet. And I loved getting it.

Okay enough Game talk. I may just start a blog were I talk about games. Since I am sure most of you could care less about this part of my life, but it is who I am. I am just a man, a wireless controler and I heart of Gold.

One more funny story. I am laying in bed monday night, tuesday morning. When my cell phone goes off at three in the morning. Its a weird text message for 3 in the morning. "Hendy is this you?"

I recognize the number somewhat. It is a number from England. I knew who it was right away. Masta Chi3f. I thought maybe he slipped down into some sunless demension and one did not know what time it was over here and 2 he needed my help to get him out.

Neithier was the case. He knew exactly what time it was. He was so excited that he figured out how to send me text message from Europe that he could not wait till, I got out of bed in 5 hours. Then he kept sending me messages, asking about my mom, how things went with bank girl, and where my mom bought the candle we sent him, because his mom wanted one. Again things that could have been brought up to me 5 hours from now.

I told bank girl this story, and she seemed very intrigued with Xbox live at that point. Asking me question, telling me how cool it all sounded. Yeah she could have been the one, you know if she had wanted to be the one. Still I can be nice for her, and maybe show her more of my light hearted side, instead of the side that makes me look heavily burdened with life. Who knows? Not getting my hopes up, of course.

I am trying to live a better and heart felt life. I hate to say that outloud, because it seems when I become to Optimisitic, something bad happens, but at the same time I am just fucking tired of being depressed. Which has gotten a lot better since the Holidays are over.

My mom's Doctor visit went okay, well at least they have not put her on the inslin shot. She does have to go back to the Doc in 2 months thought to see if she can drop her Diabetic number. I think she can do it if she lays off the snack cakes. Hey like mother like son.

Anyway everyone have a good night.


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Monday, January 08, 2007

Would have been Seven Years today

Its early, too damn early. I am sick with a cold. Again. I am praying not to have another sinus infection. I am not sure how this day is going to turn out. Today would have been our 7th wedding anniversary. Most guys cant even remember their anniversary if they are still married. Mine I just can't forget.

I have to take my mom to the Doc this morning. She is worried they are going to put her on insulin shots. The doc warned of that last year. She dreads going. I can't say i blame her. Who wants to have to shoot insulin everyday.

I just got off the Xbox. playing Rainbow 6 Vegas Online. One of the guys that works for a local comic book shop introduced me to these guys. And they are great. i get teased alot, get called Rookie even more. But they are getting me built up slowly. I have earned their respect in a few games.

And its real cool playing with people all over the world. I never get tired of it. Sometimes i wonder if the interenet is the New Worlds Tower of Babel. Oh well. All I know right now in Seattle it is windy, at least wherever one of these guys lives. You could hear it over his mic when he went outside to smoke. heck maybe they could even be EPZ West virginian neighbors.

One guy and I started talking. he asked him what the date was. I knew without even looking at the calendar. I am always going to remember this day. But normally after the trifecta of evil, (i.e. Dad dying (dec. 16), Christmas, and anniversary) I start to let go of that depression.Anyway, he talked about his son, who turned 11 months this morning. Thats what I like about Xbox Live.

But anyway, today is another day. And I hope it will be an okay one.


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Tuesday, January 02, 2007


I was driving home from my mother's apartment tonight. And I thought about my friend Mike a little bit. I do not mention him much on here. I am sure I have mentioned him before, and probably wrote that exact phrase when doing so. Partly because I have not seen him often, if at all, and partly because we both chose different paths.

But I was thinking more about some predicition he made about my life. he always talked about looking into the "Black Ball of Truth". While he did whatever this consisted of, he gave him insight into his friend's futures.

Mike was a little out there I used to think. But I liked him. And he was a good story teller. I am not sure if half the stuff he ever told me was true. But if it was he lead a very interesting life before coming to our neck of the woods.

He was a wrestling fan, so he fit right in with us at the time. We were all back yard wrestlers. Back before it was crazy. Back when it was something fun to do on the weekend, when a submission move was having someones crotch in your face. Now its only a submission move if someones has their crotch in your face and its wrapped in barb wire. GOOD TIMES

Anyway none of this has to really do with Mike. He came into our lives, and even lived with me when he and his father could not get along. My dad had this thing about taking in strays.

Anyway he made several predictions about me, and he also wrote each of us a poem about our lives and personalities. He told me that i would meet my wife in college. I was under the assumption I would meet her while I attended college, nope just like he said I met her in college, meaning she would be attending college when I met her. Which was true. I still take no fault of her flunking out.

He also told me that when I die the funeral room would not be able to contain all the people who come. He told me that I touch more people than I could every realize and that I help people.

My poem, I am not sure I remember it all. But he portrayed me as a Cleric. Any nerd can tell you that a Cleric is a Priest, with Holy powers given to them by a god. Back then I never got it. Even when he tried to explain it to me.

The poem was small but epic. I was a the most powerful cleric, and that i was trying to defeat the most evil demon. And in the end, I die. I always hated that part. But I finally understood the symbology of it. Of what he was trying to say to me.

I will always try to do the thing that saves someone. And no matter how the deck is stacked against me. He knew I would try to save them. I tried to save my ex, and even though I failed I never truly gave up. I try my best to help those who need it. But just like smoke, the more people I try to save, the more of the darkness I drink in myself. Meaning I am very loyal, and it is going to kill me.

The last line talked about the demon killing me, riping me to shreds. And the last line was. "Now no one is strong enough to conquer the dead." Meaning no mater what i do. I can not save everyone. But that I would still try.

Pretty deep, and accurate for someone who wrote that for me after knowing me a month. And fits me pretty well. I guess I had to grow up a it to realize what it all meant. That poem was written in 1994. 12 years ago.

Lately I have noticed that alot of characters in novels have my good naturedness. And in a way it is more scary than not. Are people like me so non exhistant that we are almost talked about like fairy tales.

"Did you hear about the gentleman who left the card and the rose on lady-loves car." Oh bother no man like that even exists, might as well say he is the tooth fairy's brother.

I started rading a great series by a guy called Jim Butcher. His series is called the Dresden Files. About a modern day Wizard. But this guy is almost me, if I knew how to cast magic, was a detective, and was actually able to get women to talk to me.

And Dresden has a little dark side, and he went through a very dark time. Dont want to spoil it for anyone. I recommend these books to anyone. They are funny, and way better that that wizard shit JK Rowlings churns out.

But one line I like from the Dresden files, "For most men, chivalry is a thought, for me its an involentary reaction." I like that. How many men think that way anymore.

Also started reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. I bought this book for my ex a while back, when it first came out. I am not sure if i got it for her for Christmas or if it was the many items that I bought for her for no paticular reason at all, she forgot that I did for her out of love. Anyway she left an entire Dean Koontz library behind and since I am trying to open my horizions I decided to read it. And Went to the library and got book 2, Forever Odd.

But when I go, I hope they can put on my tombstone what one of Dresden's enemies put on his.

He died doing the right thing.


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