Tuesday, January 02, 2007


I was driving home from my mother's apartment tonight. And I thought about my friend Mike a little bit. I do not mention him much on here. I am sure I have mentioned him before, and probably wrote that exact phrase when doing so. Partly because I have not seen him often, if at all, and partly because we both chose different paths.

But I was thinking more about some predicition he made about my life. he always talked about looking into the "Black Ball of Truth". While he did whatever this consisted of, he gave him insight into his friend's futures.

Mike was a little out there I used to think. But I liked him. And he was a good story teller. I am not sure if half the stuff he ever told me was true. But if it was he lead a very interesting life before coming to our neck of the woods.

He was a wrestling fan, so he fit right in with us at the time. We were all back yard wrestlers. Back before it was crazy. Back when it was something fun to do on the weekend, when a submission move was having someones crotch in your face. Now its only a submission move if someones has their crotch in your face and its wrapped in barb wire. GOOD TIMES

Anyway none of this has to really do with Mike. He came into our lives, and even lived with me when he and his father could not get along. My dad had this thing about taking in strays.

Anyway he made several predictions about me, and he also wrote each of us a poem about our lives and personalities. He told me that i would meet my wife in college. I was under the assumption I would meet her while I attended college, nope just like he said I met her in college, meaning she would be attending college when I met her. Which was true. I still take no fault of her flunking out.

He also told me that when I die the funeral room would not be able to contain all the people who come. He told me that I touch more people than I could every realize and that I help people.

My poem, I am not sure I remember it all. But he portrayed me as a Cleric. Any nerd can tell you that a Cleric is a Priest, with Holy powers given to them by a god. Back then I never got it. Even when he tried to explain it to me.

The poem was small but epic. I was a the most powerful cleric, and that i was trying to defeat the most evil demon. And in the end, I die. I always hated that part. But I finally understood the symbology of it. Of what he was trying to say to me.

I will always try to do the thing that saves someone. And no matter how the deck is stacked against me. He knew I would try to save them. I tried to save my ex, and even though I failed I never truly gave up. I try my best to help those who need it. But just like smoke, the more people I try to save, the more of the darkness I drink in myself. Meaning I am very loyal, and it is going to kill me.

The last line talked about the demon killing me, riping me to shreds. And the last line was. "Now no one is strong enough to conquer the dead." Meaning no mater what i do. I can not save everyone. But that I would still try.

Pretty deep, and accurate for someone who wrote that for me after knowing me a month. And fits me pretty well. I guess I had to grow up a it to realize what it all meant. That poem was written in 1994. 12 years ago.

Lately I have noticed that alot of characters in novels have my good naturedness. And in a way it is more scary than not. Are people like me so non exhistant that we are almost talked about like fairy tales.

"Did you hear about the gentleman who left the card and the rose on lady-loves car." Oh bother no man like that even exists, might as well say he is the tooth fairy's brother.

I started rading a great series by a guy called Jim Butcher. His series is called the Dresden Files. About a modern day Wizard. But this guy is almost me, if I knew how to cast magic, was a detective, and was actually able to get women to talk to me.

And Dresden has a little dark side, and he went through a very dark time. Dont want to spoil it for anyone. I recommend these books to anyone. They are funny, and way better that that wizard shit JK Rowlings churns out.

But one line I like from the Dresden files, "For most men, chivalry is a thought, for me its an involentary reaction." I like that. How many men think that way anymore.

Also started reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. I bought this book for my ex a while back, when it first came out. I am not sure if i got it for her for Christmas or if it was the many items that I bought for her for no paticular reason at all, she forgot that I did for her out of love. Anyway she left an entire Dean Koontz library behind and since I am trying to open my horizions I decided to read it. And Went to the library and got book 2, Forever Odd.

But when I go, I hope they can put on my tombstone what one of Dresden's enemies put on his.

He died doing the right thing.


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