Thursday, July 21, 2005

Sadness/Happiness/Lonleliness/

I thought about "her" on my way home from work tongiht. I think about her alot. Even when I know I should not. I think I have pinpointed why I miss her so much. I miss my best friend.

I miss the stuff we use to do together. I miss watching movies with her head curled up in my lap. While she stetched out on the couch. I miss her happy booty shake. I miss the sounds of Animal precienct on tv. I miss hearing about her day, and all the drama in it. I miss hearing about her trips to Indy. Im miss her smiles. I miss getting in the SUV and just going somewhere. I miss calling her from work, around 8 oclock to talk to her, just to hear her voice. I miss running my fingers through her hair. I miss how excited she got when sher got a new pair of pajama. But most of all I miss not hearing "I love you" I have not hear that phrase uttered in almost 5 months. I use to tell her that everyday. I miss hearing, saying it and feeling it.

I dont know what I would do if I woke up tomorrow and we were together in the house. I would probably fix her breakfast. Then play all those horrible board games, or video games with her. I just dont know because I would be happy again. I think the oposite of happiness to me is not sadness, its lonleiness.

I still have not heard from Ben about A, He does not work until late tomorrow night so maybe I will drop by then, and see whats up. The more people at Walmart who know I am a nice guy, the better to maybe persuade her. I am still not rocking the point, she may be seeing somebody, or she may not even find me attractive. But hey, its a shot at something right.