Saturday, May 28, 2005

I feel Like I got Some Sleep

Woohoo, I got a little break from my insomnia and was able to get in a good 7 hours of sleep, and I feel much better now. So good in fact I am going to do my geek stuff tonight. I am going to role play with my friends.

I have not been out with them to the Ol' Comic Quest and feel that it would be great to catch up with them. Other than that I am not up for much.

I delievered the soon to be ex her bills yesterday, in a large brown envolope and stuck it into the after hour rent box. Inside was also a short note asking her how she was feeling, how were the dogs, and how was softball. Lets just say I did not sit by the phone and wait for her to call. I knew she wouldn't but hey, I am giving her every oppurtunity to eliviate my guilt.

But for the most part I think I am going to hold off on the dating thing til after my divorce. I have met a few great girls and part of me just can't commit to what they need. I think I need friends more right now then I need anything physical. I hate that I cant be what these women have probably wanted but I am nthing they want if I cant deal with what I am going through.

I guess I am trying to be grown up. Because I am trying to keep from rebounding. I have some confidence that I am not an ugly person, and I feel sorry that I believed that for so long. Because we are never what we think ourselves to be. So I think I will put that pick up because I have nothing to hide anymore. If my wife finds this site so be it. If her Mother/Father see my pic, so be that also. They need to know what their daughter did to me, and lied to them about it.

Because I will not pretend anymore that I was at fault.

And thats the bottom line
because I said so.

(Now if I can figure out this picture thing)