Sunday, April 09, 2006

God Is Reaching For Me

I came home tonight, early from hanging with my friends. A little sadnes enterd my heart today, and I let it in, just a pinch. A year ago today, I had sex with my life for the last time. Afterward she gathered up the dogs, their toys, and left.

Afterward I slipped my wedding band off. I knew this divorce would happen this time. It was supposed to be a better night. She was supposed to stay the whole night with me, but she had other places to be.

One year. In the last year, the best day of my life, felt like the worst day of my life when I was with her. But I survived. I have been ahppy, sad, and every emotion inbetween.

My ring finger still bears the scar. The first week I took the ring off, I was told that three months down the road it would be gone. My "flesh ring" would fade away.

After three months and it was still there, they told me wait til 6 months. At 6 months nothing had changed. They said give it another three months.

I gave it a year. Its still here. It has not faded, it has not gone away. I still see a wedding band on my finger. And I was a little worried about that. And I thought about it on the way home.

maybe when we make a promise before God, so deep in our hearts, that our bodies will always show the scar if we fail. I loved Sarah, and more than anything I wanted to be with her forever. So maybe I have to wear the marlk of our failure because I wanted it so bad, that it scarred me.

But I think tonight God had other plans. I visit a website every week.

I read it every sunday when they update the page. Well somehow this postcard someone sent in said it all for me tonight. About how stupid an scared I am being. This postcard I am guessing, was put up last week. I am not sure how I missed it, in fact I am suprised I even found it tonight. But I want you to read it and see if you think God is reaching out to me with it.

This image is from the Post secret website, and I hope somebody does not sue me for using it.

So Do you think God just told me to ask out bank Girl as indirectly as he could. (In case you guys are not able to read the card, It says "Stop Being a Coward, Take the Risk, I'm Worth it"

Goodnight all
Robert "Even God just told me to grow some testicles" Wood