Saturday, August 19, 2006


Well tonight is a very interesting evening. It seems the guy who sent me the hreatning email actual showed up at my work tonight. The suprising thing is, I kind of had a feeling he would.

The thing that suprised me is that he actually shook my hand and apologized. I am not sure what his motivation was, I am sure there were several. I think he may have been sizing me up, playing the alpha male card. I also think after reading all my blog he did see how much i cared for Sarah, and that i loved her. And he may actually kind of just feel sorry for me for being such a loser, and throwing myself an online pity party.

I knew who he was as soon as he come in the door and called me by name. I did not cower away. He is a big guy, he is pretty sturdy looking. (Like me, I am chicken legs and arms, with a big gut... as he is 6 foot tall and built like a football player) He does not seem to be such a bad guy when he is calm and non threating.

But anyway as far as I am concerend, he has no threat from me, I could care less about Sarah, especially after her last email to me. I get sick of her telling me that I am going to be alone the rest of my life. But oh well. Life goes on, sometimes when you did not even want it too.

All night tonight, for like the last 2 hours of my shift I just feel like I have to be at the bank tomorrow, and try to give "her" the first card. The one that lays it on the line. I feel like something is pushing me towards this.

I think it has to do with the new age stuff I have been trying out. And some of you may laugh, but others may want to look into Dr. Doreen Virtue. She is an Angel Thearapist.

Her belief is that we all have Guardian Angels around us at all times. And that we all at least have two. Maybe more. And i can tell you from first hand experience that for a little while now, and maybe even before I even read about her, it seems to work.

When you have a problem, you ask for the angels around you for help and guidance. I know this all sounds kooky. But I am teeling you it works.

Case in point when i lost my wallet this week. I was almost on the verge of tears after drivng to find it. And not being able to find it. The thing was as soon as I asked the Angels for help, I became more calm, and in my mind I knew I needed to sit down and relax. And about 5 seconds later, I knew where my wallet was. I had a call from my mom's apartment community on my caller id. I felt so stupid for not realizing it sooner, and another thing was on the way home, I kept feeling like I needed to stop at the gas station to get a coke, or that I should go to taco bell and get something to eat. Had I listened to these keys, I would have realized my wallet was missing.

So now everytime I have had a problem I ask for guidance, and I also am sure to think God when it comes through. In fact it has lightened my depression and opening up more to the world.

And I have a feeling that now the angels are pushing me toward the bank tomorrow. Why tomororw I am not sure, but I am still wondering if I should do it, or if this is all crazy talk. So I will let you know how all that goes constant reader.

Also why reading this book she talks about people of the world, that some of us are decendants of other folk. And she describes a group of people who are called incarnated Angels. And it souns so much like me it is scary.

They are people who look youthful for their age. They are usual heavy because they tend to eat alot because of depression. They are always trying to help people with their problems, and they actually feel awful when people try to help them out, they dont like to accept things from others.

If you are interested I think her website is

Anyway i need toget to bed before you people really think I have gone insane.