Monday, August 21, 2006

I Swear I was only offering you Popcorn and Coke

So I was rnjoying a typical Sunday at my job. It was a relxing Sunday, I had been through a few nice little rushes, nothing to get too bent out of shape about. Lately at work we have ran a small promotion that if you rent 2 new relase movies, you can get a Tub of Popcorn and 2 20oz. Coca-cola Products for $8.00. It is a very good deal.

So we try to get everyone to partake of this deal. Because it is a great deal, unless you do not like Coke and popcorn. Well here in lies my downfall.

The Brain is a wonderful tool, without it we would be dead. It gives us stuff to do, keeps us from doing dumb things, most of the time. Butthe brain also has its own routine. (No I am not saying your brain is starring in the downtown Theater, in Macbeth. As funny as that would be to watch.)

I would like to alert everyone to the next few paragraphs. If you are at work, please cover your mouth to keep from laughing hysterically, I would hate to see anyone get fired for fucking off. If you are enjoying a nice beverage, maybe wonderful Orange Fanta, or some other sode, coffee, or water. Please put down the beverage so that you do not have the painful experience of blowing it out your nose.

So now we have those rules established. I will go on to the story.

So this wonderful Brain I have is getting ready to wait on a customer. A Biker dude. Not the rough type so I will let you know now that itdoes not end up with me unconscience or anything.

I start to ask him if he would like to add popcorn and coke to this. Instantly as I try to get the word popcorn out of my mouth, my brain takes over.

Wait... what the fuck are you doing man. We never say popcorn first, I mean seriously, coke always comes before the popcorn, egads man, are you some kind of invilid. Are you that daft. Its 2 cokes and a popcorn... 2 cokes and a popcorn.. Oh hold on I will fix this you wanker. (Yes my brain speaks to me in an English accent, and strangly sounds like my Xbox buddy Allan "MastaChi3f" Bates.)

So my brain slams on the brakes, and tries to stop me from saying popcorn, but it is not quick enough, it gets the word to stop at pop.. but at the same time it tries to say coke, I am trying to finish corn.

So this is what happens, I ask the customer...

"Would you like some Pop.. um Cock.. I mean coke."

"Oh God no man, I defenately do not want any of that."

So yes, i actually offered the man Cock. And my brain, who got me into this in the first place.. I hear it tell me... Fuck you Hendy, your own your own.

At least the guy was cool about it. I have to admit that I laughed about it for 45 minutes after he left. I mean what else can you do. The guy did come back a little later because he got the wrong movie.

I am not going to ask you if you want any popcorn and coke this time.

He replied, "I would not offer it to anybody the rest of the day."

I almost added, "Yeah well hell i can't give it away to a women," but I left it alone. I mean i already offered this man Cock. In turn I think I lost some of my dignity. But oh well everyone have a good night.