Sunday, February 12, 2006


today for me has not been a good day emotionally. I am depressed. I am hoping this goes away after Valentine's day. But I just have this feeling it wont. I dont know what is wrong. I have started crying three times today. Out of nowhere.

I spent about an hour praying for God to end my suffering, that i was tired of feeling lonly, hurt, and depressed. I want to feel better, but I just dont. Soe of you know what this feels like, and some of you out there have no idea how to love anything but yourself. I dont want to miss her anymore. At least my head does not. My head is even tired of listening to my heart cry.

Yet, for people like me. The heart will always beat out the head. Nothing seems to dull my heartache. I am just tired of the suffering. I understand somtimes we suffer for no reason. But I pray for the suffering to leave me.

I am excited though, in 2 weeks we are loading up the Van, and heading off to A place called Patti's in Grand Rivers, KY. Okay it may not be that exciting, but its a road trip. Gets me away from here, and on to something fun.

The weather here is all wonky, you never know what you are going to get from day to day. Everyone is always getting sick. I was sick yesterday and just worn down to the nub. So I have still not went out to the bars.

I also have not bought me any alcohol for V.D. Who knows. I have to go to the grcery tomorrow. I need to get out of this house and do something. I hate just "being here".

Good Night All