Divorced & Dealing

Bullet Time

The Following is a Dramatazation of real events from the morning of August 9th, 2005
The people are real, and we did not use any real footage from the event. No Sponges were hurt in this recreation. Parental supervision is recommened.

It was a normal day in the corn fields of Genva KY. Two friends had set out to train themselves in the betterment of fire arm munitions. They carried 3 weapons with them. I small arms revolver, a double Barrelled shotgun, and a .22 rifle with 4x scope.

They had just loaded up the pistol and we preparing to fire at some objects when suddenly they found themselves surrounded.

Robert: Well I looked to the East and out of the corn fields I see 3 figures approach. A 24 once. Ohuna Punch bottle, an Incredible Hulk action figure and their commander. Sponge Bob Squarepants.

Ben: To our North, 2 red disposible plates suddenly stepped through the bushes. Gleaming at us with their shiny armor. I suddenly felt like it would be a good time to leave.

Robert: Behind the plates followed 3 styrafoam boards. I could not tell if they were footsoldiers, archers or (gasp) Snipers.

Robert took the pistol and charged forward. The Ohuna bottle was stood as spongebobs first line of defense. Robert aimed and squezzed off a round. Events are a little uncertain at this point, Robert claims that the bottle jumped clear of his shot. Others would say he just missed. He fired again, but to no avail.

There were only 2 shots left in the weapon, Ben took it from him, this was not the time to let a newbie fire a weapon in the heat of war.

Ben fired, and mortaly wounded the bottle, it was blown back by such a force it landed in the cornfield where it had slithered from. Still this was no time to panic, Ben Dropped the pistol, and went for the shot gun, the plates were becoming closer and closer.

Ben fired his shot, splitting the plates round forehead. It dropped to the ground. And lay motionless. Ben looked at me rubbing his shoulder. The kickback from such a powerful weapon had brised his shoulder and ego. Sweat dripped off him like rain. The shot gun was reloaded and placed in my hand.

I fired my shotgun, it kicked into my shoulder. Would have been a terrible injury to a weaker man, but I never felt it. I was in the zone. I held it steady and true but the plate used a velocity vs. shot mathmatical formula and dodged cleanly, it sneered at me. I smiled back. He thought he had me, I could see him reaching for his weapon of choice.

"You forgot one thing," Robert spit to the side, the plates eyes widened. "Double Barrelled bitch." The plate was taken by suprise, it was riddles across the chest and it feel to the ground bleeding, gasping for air through the lungs full of holes. The tree branch behind it fell to the ground.

Ben took it back, screaming how I may have save both our lives when he reloaded the gun. And handed it back to me, The Incredible Hulk was moving forward. But i seen a new enemy at the last second, I used all my power to avoid hitting hulk, and aimed too high, and hit a clod of dirt who just happen to come out of the cornfield with a flame thrower. I hit him between the eyes and he exploded into a dust cload. (Editors Note: We are not sure if the dirt clod was there, we thank he may have missed another shot.)

Ben took the shotgun back, his minor shoulder injury was healing. Reloaded it and fired at Hulk. Blasted him back into the cornfield. Spongebob was terrified as he was also blasted with the second shot.

later would try to locate their bodies, but to no avail. It is believed that the dastardly Spongebob may have gotten away for now.

The 3 foam boards stood away, and we toook our last weapon that had shots availiable, it being a long ranged weapon we were sure we had an advantage. Ben fired into the boards. he fired 14 shots, and at least 12 had hit. The gun was empty. He began to reload when one of the foam boards got off a shot. Ben fell over holding his shoulder. It seems that he may have been bleeding, it cocked the rifle and handed it back.

Its all you kid, its all you.

I looked down the scope and just started firing, trying to get head shots, becase hitting the kevlar vest they were wearing did no good. After my 14 shots all three lay dead. We gathered up the remains we could find. And we headed back to the campsite to unload the weapon.

We did good, the secret invasion of Sponge Bob had been thwarted but he would be back. And maybe next time we will get him

Major Wood signing out

posted by Hendersonman @ 3:23 PM Comments: 0