Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Holiday. Not much going on in the Wood household. I have to work tonight, I got invited to a party a few weeks back, but I did not request off, and so someone decided 2 days before the schedule was made, (after he had already requested 2 days off that week) to go ahead and try to take off this holiday too... just like every Holiday, he fucking request off.

So no party for me. I have to work, I guess its okay. No girlfriend so its not like Fireworks mean anything for me anyway.

Well Plan b was in effect last week, not the greatest idea in th world probably because it would have made me look like a big coward, which it was not that. Lukrativ was going to deliver the card, through her or the other girl at the bank. Explaining that for the last 2 weeks I have been trying to deliver it, but she had been in drive thru. The funny thing is, all week long, there was some reason why it could not be delivered.

So here it is, tomorrow is my last chance. If it does not get delivered this week, by me or Lukrativ, its over. I am going to take it as there is no such thing as fate. That I am totally wrong, and nothing was ever going to come from this. There is no such thing as Serendipity. Or maybe Fate is real, and fate is telling me NO!

On the good news front, Ben has finally got a girlfriend. Its funny that this girl's mother worked at the store I used to work for before Lukrativ and me shipped across town. (Which is also about the same time that I first seen the bank girl, who also just started)I told ben I would not hold it against her who her mother was.

Not getting much sleep at night. Jane Eyere asked me the other night if I had trouble sleeping. I told her yeah. She then asked what i did about it. I told her I just deal with it. The best I can.

Spent some time with my mom last week. We were talking about things, she informed me that she finally forgave my ex wife. She said her minister did a sermon on forgiveness, and at the end asked if there was anyone who wanted to forgive someone to come up and leave your hurt and anger on the altar.

I think she did this more for me than she did it for herself.

I still get weepy about the holidays. I keep dreaming about Sarah last night, and when i would wake up, i would remember the 4th of July we would spend together. Usually it was one of the only times when we would have the house to ourselves for a week. We always took vacation this week, my mom would go stay with my uncle.

One year we actually bought fireworks. Usually we did not. Ben was the designated lighter, because for some reason Sarah never trusted me with flammable objects. Another time she got very drunk, and thought she offended a friend of mine and cried about it all night, man she was wated that night. It was funny in a way.

I did offer to watch the dogs for her one day this week. There was a guy she met up in Indy on an awards ceremony, they were the only 2 from there company. So they hung around together that night.

This weekend, there was a resident where he lived lighting fireworks, aiming them at people, aiming them at vehicles. My ex wife's friend was a big man, like 6'4" and 300 pounds. He went over to tell the man to stop. The Man pulled out a gun and shot him. He died at the scene.

He left behind a wife and 6 kids. He had no life insurance, and the family is not sure how they are going to pay for the funeral.

It makes you wonder why things happen. I know my ex is upset. I dont know how many times i would get in the car with her in the middle of the night and drive across town so she could tell someone to turned down there music or that this person could not be on the property.

Who knows, it could have happened to us. Its funnny how one thought can bring you back to something else. Or how your life changes from one moment to the next. Sarah and I were talking last week about how she got jealous of a girl who flirted with me at the burger king, back when we were married, and this week she is leaving to go to a funeral.

Oh well, life is nothing if it is not random. I guess thats it, life is just random.

I have made it to Season 4 of Alias. I am not sure what i am going to do when I am done with it. Since Season 5 will not be out for awhile, i dont even think there is a release date for it. Damn you Audrey.

Happy 4th of July, hope I did not bring you down

Congrats on the Big move OSW, have fun at the ZOO