Still Exhausted
It is after One in the morning, and I am very tired but yet I can not sleep. My thoughts still keep me awake, and they call to me. I did good last night, and it felt so good. I told Charla tonight in an email that I am so glad i was able to help the girl last night.Its been a long time since I felt needed. It proved to me last night that everyday people can truly be heroes. Sure I am no Spiderman, but shouldnt it be, With great Heart Comes Great Responsibility.
I see the hand of God more in my life after today, then I have ever seen it. Yes I still miss my ex, and it may be that I will always miss her. But i learned Something in Church tonight.
Sometimes through God we are made to suffer, and for no known reason. God always has a reason. And in our life we can never see it, because we only get to see life as it happens. God gets to see it from the begining, the ending and every milisecond in between.
If I had awaken this morning, next to my wife, in the house that felt like a home. With two dogs sleeping running amoke through the upstairs chaising the two cats. Walked down stairs to go play Xbox. Would I have passed my mom in the kitchen, and would she had told me someone in Henderson was killed last night. Would I have cared, probably a little. But I would have continue down to the basement and lost myself in a game of Xbox, hell maybe even an Xbox 360 and waited until my wife got out of bed.
No it would not have been on my conscience, because I would have not been in anyway able to stop it. But to think about everything that happen to me last night, everything in the last 8 years put me at the right place at the right time.
Even the decision to stop in and see an old friend played into it. It was like last night was leading me to this conclusion. Did I save the girls life, probably not. More than likely she would have walked to someones house she knew.
But just before I was going to drive her down the road onto many stops we would make that night, I was making room for her in my car. I had the car running, and my flashers flashing, and had just put my laundry in the hatch back. When someone did stop for a few seconds.
Two rough looking guys in a beat up pick up truck, asked if I had everything under control. I told them i did and they went on. But who knows, maybe they were not just nice guys trying to give a hand.
Maybe it is silly to play the "what if" game. I just wonder what if.
I hope you guys do not think I am milking this subject. It felt good to help, and I am not trying to get you guys to scream, great job Robert, I really am looking into this deeply. And every week Church brings up answers to stuff in my life.
I have been missing Sarah alot lately. I ask why do i suffer, the answer is, "I don't know". We never get to see the plan come together until it actually comes together. So I cry, from time to time, and I ask God why i suffer, and someday I am sure he will show me the answers I seek. But he deals cards that he is not ready to show, he knows why I was divorced, and it must be a good reason, for as i learned tonight, he wrote the book Song of Songs in the bible about marriage. And he designed it to be everything it is supposed to be.
I want to leave you with the lyrics of a few songs. You can not read, or you can. It is just songs that keep cycling through my life right now. They are Contry songs, and each hold some meaning to me. I am not saying to read them all now, but try to at some point, and look at the words.
Charla told me she thinks of me everytime she hears this song, because it makes her think of how I must have felt when Sarah left me.
Chris Cagle - Miss Me Baby Lyrics
Miss me baby
When you hear our favourite song,
Miss me baby
And when you start to sing along
Think about all the times that we danced
In moonlight to it all night long, oh
Then miss me baby.
And want me honey,
Like you did the night you told me that you loved me
We couldn't wait anymore.
Left the keys in the door, took my hand
Pulled me down on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, we were that crazy
Then miss me baby.
Chorus:
Because when he's holding you,
Know that it's killing me,
Let my memory be the reason girl
That you can't sleep
And everytime you feel his touch,
I pray to God it's not enough
And that I've touched your heart so deep
Girl, you can't shake me
Cause I love you,
Yes I need you,
Miss me baby.
Miss me baby,
Until you can't take it no more
Miss me baby
Pack your bags and hit the door
I'm a man, I was wrong, forgive me
Come back home
I'll be waiting
Right here waiting
Miss me baby.
Chorus:
Because when he's holding you,
Know that it's killing me,
Let my memory be the reason girl
That you can't sleep
And everytime you feel his touch,
I pray to God it's not enough
And that I've touched your heart so deep
Girl, you can't shake me
Cause I love you,
Yes I need you,
Miss me baby.
Everytime you hear this song,
Miss me baby...
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Tonight I Wanna Cry
(Monty Powell/Keith Urban)
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
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Lyrics > F > Faith Hill lyrics > Fireflies > Like We Never Loved At All
Faith Hill - Like We Never Loved At All lyrics
(feat. Tim McGraw)
You never looked so good
as you did last night,
underneath the city lights,
there walking with your friend,
laughing at the moon.
I swear you looked right through me.
But I�m still living with your goodbye,
and you�re just going on with your life.
How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don�t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that�s just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.
You, I hear you�re doing fine.
Seems like you�re doing well
as far as I can tell.
Time is leaving us behind,
(time � leaving us behind)
another week has passed
and still I haven�t laughed yet.
So tell me, what your secret is
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
to letting go, letting go like you did,
like you did.
How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don�t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that�s just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.
Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Oh, and did you ever miss me,
and long to kiss me?
Oh baby, baby.
Maybe that�s just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all
------------------------------
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
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Good night Everyone.
R.
posted by Hendersonman @ 1:19 AM
Comments: 2
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