Wednesday, February 15, 2006


Okay so i watched Saw 2 the other day. And let me tell you something from the bottom of my broken heart. It Sucked. The more I think about this movie, the more it annoys me. Now dont get me wrong, I liked Saw. It was just the right amount of Psychological horror, and problem solving.

If you do not watch Saw, and you are sill waiting for it to reach the 1.99 dump bin at your local Grocery Store, then do Not continue reading the entry. Spoilers, Spoilers, Spoilers.

The guy finds people that do not want to live anymore. They have just given up on life, and they are suicidal, or they they just want to die. You know just like me. People that think they have nothing to live for.

Then he puts them in horrible choices, like sawing their feet off to survive. Or many other terrible ways to die. So that there mind tries to convince themselves that they want to live.

You know, just because I am miserable and somedays just wish it were all over, does not mean that I want to die in some horrible attatchment to my head that works like a reverse bear trap. So that when it snaps, it makes top jaw and bottom jaw ripped into different directions. I would prefer to go in my sleep.

But then we find out, he does it because he is dying of cancer. Okay. So you are want to live, but can't. So instead you want everyone else to realize they want to live. Great, thats the equivilant to me going out and sleep with every women that wants a divorce so they can see there lives can get much worse.

Get a hobby. I mean seriously, your old. Die in peace you lived a full life. You have cancer. If you want to offer peole salvation, you know donate your time on a sucide prevention hotline. Tell em your story of how you want to live, and everyday you live life to the fullest by creating creepy contraptions to kill people. Maybe when they see how fucked in the head you are, there lives may not seem so bad.

So my life sucks and some days I just dont want to be here anymore. That does not mean I am going to off myself. Where is the fun in that. Yes I am miserable, yes i try to be a decent person. And so what if it gets me nowhere, its still who I am. Someday God will ease my suffering in the heart. I am not going to sit here and blame him for it.

I bet Sarah gets a kick out of how I feel. She probably thinks I deserve it. Maybe I do deserve it, but all i want to know why m heart still aches, worse now then ever, over someone who probably does not deserve my time to worry over. Why does the heart insist to love whats wrong and embrace what i need to do to move?

Good day